Today is Day 6 of the March Slice of Life – the daily writing challenge hosted at “Two Writing Teachers”.
I am using Encyclopedia of Me; My Life from A to Z, a guided journal created by Amy Krause Rosenthal.
F for Fears
Everyone has fears – whether small (spiders, snakes) or big (heights)
Sometimes heights and closed spaces bother me and although I’m not crazy about spiders, I don’t fear them (well, except for the really big ones!)
My biggest fear though is driving. I have never had a full-blown panic attack, but then, I just don’t drive if the fear is there. It has limited me, and I know my children were upset when I couldn’t drive on the 401 or go someplace new to me.
The fear began after an accident 30+ years ago.
My daughter was 9 months old and we were moving from Alberta back to Ontario. We had been driving for 24 hours straight. I had wanted to stop in Winnipeg as I had family there, but my now-ex refused.
I had only been driving for a month and it was my turn to drive. Just outside Dryden, with the sun full in my face, my eyes closed. Next thing I knew, I was on gravel. I started awake, pulled the car back onto the highway, only to lose control. The car rolled across the highway, settling on its roof. Luckily, we hit no one and we weren’t seriously injured – my daughter had cuts across her forehead (she still has the scars), my collarbone was broken and I was scraped up (the whiplash I still feel the effects of.)
It took me a year to drive again and a long time til I felt more comfortable driving. But I never got over the fear.
Beverley A Baird 
Wow.
I live in suburban Long Island and it would appear impossible to live here if I didn’t drive- and drive a lot. In areas like NYC, public transportation is more reliable, but I couldn’t imagine not driving. Then I read your story- I can now imagine the fear that would be inherent in an activity like driving now. In an analogous way, I think about fears that I have that you might not- I fear confrontation sometimes. I fear when my kids are sick. I fear tough meetings with parents (see confrontation). While I get the concept of facing your fears, it would seem your situation is a hard one to face sometimes. I wish you the best in working through it- what a powerful piece of writing to share. Thank you!
Thanks Dan. It was a fear I could not face fully. I drove to work with not much problem – it was driving to new places, at night, or in bad weather that had me really in a panic.
Oh my. How terrible. Glad there were no serious injuries. It is something how one incident changes our outlook and haunts us for years to come.
Thanks Bob. It definitely had a huge impact on my life. But I did the best I could. I was able to drive to work but not take the highways.
Now I don’t drive at all – which is a challenge as my hubby’s health isn’t great. But if we need another drive, my son is nearby and Bill’s kids are close as well.
I appreciate you sharing your perspective of how it still impacts you.
Thanks Julie.
Fears are real. You had a really scary experience. I hope you continue to work through it because there are LOTS of great places to go in this big world and I’m sure you will want to take yourself there!
Thanks Suzanne. There certainly lots of place to see and visit. Hope to get to a few of them
This was truly a brave post! What a frightening experience! I understand how not driving is limiting. I’ve had vision troubles due to detached retinas. There’s a radius of comfort where I drive, and rush home before dark like Cinderella! I wish you the best!
Thanks Donna.
My migraines made driving at night difficult. i can sympathize with you.
I am loving The Encyclopedia of You, looking forward to borrowing it. Thank you for sharing this life changing moment. It’s crazy how one moment can change us forever.
It really is an amazing journal – so full of great prompts.
I agree with you – some moments are just life altering.
Oh dear, I’m glad you are okay. I think it would be a hard fear to conquer.
Thanks. It definitely has been.